Have you ever hurt someone you dear most (unintentionally)?
I did it a couple weeks ago. I said horrible things to my dearest one. I just realized it recently after I put all my sense together. Think of it, those words might have killed him in instant. I kept on questioning myself since then.
“How could I do something really mean to him?”
Was it only me? Or we all as mere people have the tendencies to act bad towards the one we love?
It’s really funny to think that you can hurt and love someone at once. The more you care, the angrier you would become.
This is one of many reasons I hate involving my feelings in any situation. Once I put my heart into something or someone, I become emotionally very unstable. It makes me weak, furious, even teary (damn I hate to admit it!). I would end up hurting myself and my dearest one. I dare to say love is like a destructive atomic bomb for me.
Now I’m in great grief of what I did. Apology didn’t do me any good. I don’t know how to stop him from hating me. If I had realized my fault a bit earlier, would it have made any difference? If I had put aside my ego, would it have gone this way?
I think I need to stop thinking about impossible possibilities. My heart aches whenever I think about it. There’s nothing left I could do. Time will separate us eventually anyway…